Jamie “15 Minutes My Arse” Oliver



I Reckon Jamie Oliver is kidding himself; if the average Joe (Or Bomber) can cook a meal like his in 15 minutes.. Lets share my cooking experience from this evening with everyone.


Curried Sausages.. Seems easy… I Reckon 15 minutes passed by the time i bloody peeled and chopped potatoes and put them into water… Dont even worry about the sausages.. I FAILED MAKING MASH BLOODY POTATO… Dont even get me started on the rest of it; as i use Masterfoods Curried Sausage Mix; and dinner still didnt make it to the table in under 45mins…

So; what makes Jamie’s meals so appealing…?

Some poor barstard pre-chops shit; puts stuff into those little bowl’s and makes sure his pan is hot; and the kettle is boiled.. Where do i buy this little man from and how much is his going rate? But you know what’s worse? People that buy his cookbooks thinking they can make their own touch of “Jamie Magic” in 15 minutes… You Cant… I dont care how good you think you are; you cant… But at least you can pronounce the letters “Th” without them sounding like a “F”… Speech aside, this guy does do great things in society.. He has helped change the lunch menu of thousands of schools to more healthy meals… Too bad in Australia they don’t provide lunch.. Your Mum does that and the only thing that can hang around till Lunch Time without spoiling is a bloody sandwich.. Don’t get me wrong, i love Vegemite; but with all these Nut Allergies going around; my Nutella and Peanut Butter favourites when i grew up have been replaced with; you guessed it; Free Nut Butter and Sludge (Marmite/Promite/Sludgemite)…

However; i digress… I reckon Jamie Oliver is a Saint… Jesus can walk on water (allegedly; don’t get me started on religion)… Jamie can cook ridiculous looking meals in 15 minutes… We cant do either… Shit Happens…


On a personal note; my apologies on my absence-ness… Thank you all for your emails and requests for me to return… They were all heartfelt and touched me dearly…. (May or may have not actually received any emails… At all… Not even one…)

Why hate Nickelback?

I reckon it’s pretty weird that Nickelback has a “hate” cult following. I cant think of a band quite like it actually.

Me personally I don’t like REM. The majority of people DO like REM. One of my best mates, she hates U2 but the majority of people DO like U2. How a cult following of haters of Nickelback originated is kinda weird.

In my opinion Nikelback makes good music, in addition to that I reckon Chad Kroeger has a superb and iconic rock voice. It does border on pop rock sometimes, but still a heap better than most of the whining crap you hear from the “rock bands” these days. Chad Kroeger’s voice is big, dirty and husky. It’s the same characteristics that we fell in live with in Kurt Cobain’s voice and Eddie Vedders voice, just in Kroeger’s own unique way.

They have sold many millions of albums, so the haters can’t be right. Nickelback is a Canadian band. Maybe there is some sort of sour grapes occurring. Certainly any time a big New Zealand act tries to make it in Australia, they are usually shot down. This could be happening with Nickelback as a Canadian band trying to make a big impression in the US. Deep down I don’t think this is the case. It’s simply a weird phenomenon that has occurred with one particular band at this particular time.

INXS finally pull the pin

Michael Hutchence INXSI reckon the day Michael Hutchence died is the day INXS should have called it quits. Instead, since his death in 1997 they have tried several singers with only moderate successes. Certainly a far cry from “Need You Tonight” that made number 1 in the charts in the USA. Now finally the remaining band members have now officially announced the end of INXS.

After loosing Michael Hutchence the band was never going to make it. He was not only the lead singer, but a true “front man” with unique personality. It would be like loosing Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam, or Soundgarden trying to make music without Chris Cornell.

At one point in their career, they were probably the biggest band in the world. It’s such a shame the world was deprived of INXS too soon.

Extreme: The band that never made it…

I reckon if I told you that a band had been making brilliant music for 3 decades, then you would know all about them right? What if I also told you they had a worldwide number 1 hit? Oh, and also one of the worlds best guitarists? Not to mention, one of the most talented rock singers alive today…

I must be talking about Metallica, Soundgarden or Pearl Jam right? No, I’m talking about Extreme. After releasing 5 studio albums over more than 20+ years, why did they never really make it? Everyone knows the songs “Hole Hearted” and “More Than Words“. But they have dozens of other awesome songs.

I think the problem lies in their versatility. Usually it’s a good thing for a band to be versatile, but Extreme take it to a brand new level. Some of their songs are ballads, others are pure metal, some are funk, then others can be orchestral and some plain weird and cooky. Sometimes an Extreme song can bridge 5 genres even before it reaches the first chorus. That’s the versatility I’m talking about.

This would make it difficult for some potential fans to identify with the band. For example even my mother would enjoy a soft, acoustic ballad like “More Than Words“, however a gritty, rock song like “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” my mother would think is rubbish. So instantly they have alienated a huge audience from becoming fans.

Even a radio station would find it difficult to give them air time. A rock station can play some of their songs, but an easy listening station would be playing completely different Extreme songs. So how would they release a single from an album that’s going to get a lot of air play?

Don’t get me wrong, there are heaps of Extreme fans out there. People like me. I love the bands versatility. I love that they aren’t afraid to make the music that they want to, in a way that they want.

Nuno Bettencourt from ExtremeAs individual musos and as a collective band they are some of the most talented people in their field on the planet. Listen to any of their songs and just pick out one instrument and focus in listening to it. Bass for example, listen to the bass and you will be amazed at how punchy and how complex the bass lines are. Nuno Bettencourt on guitar is a freak of nature, one of my favourite guitarists alive. Extreme have an amazing ability to surprise you. Basically “expect the unexpected”. You will be listening to a beautiful, soft ballad then Nuno Bettencourt decides that the song needs to have a thrashing, shredding solo. It’s so inappropriate but it’s what makes each song and Extreme as a band so good.

Another freak of nature is Gary Cherone with his multi-octave voice. Time and time again on i-reckon.com.au I rave about how amazing Chris Cornell is as a rock vocalist. There are only 2 other rock singers on this earth that come close to Cornell. One is Mike Patton from Faith No More and the other is Gary Cherone from Extreme. Cherone is just awesome. He even had a stint as lead singer of Van Halen for a while.

So that’s my take in Extreme. The band that never really made it.

St. Anger: The worst Metallica album

St AngerI reckon St. Anger is simply terrible.

I love Metallica. They have so many songs which are completely awesome. But St. Anger was an album that lacked so many things, including good songs.

A great album is one that you should be able to listen to from start to finish and enjoy. If you listen to St. Anger from start to finish, all you hear is a “wall of sound”. It’s dirty, trashy and heavy. If only 3 songs on the album were like this, then that would be acceptable. Instead there are 11 songs like this on the album and it doesn’t make for entertaining listening.

Metallica really got it wrong with this album. The classic sounds we have heard from Metallica over the years are nowhere to be found on St. Anger. Songs like Unforgiven, Nothing Else Matters and The Memory Remains are all epics, and they didn’t even attempt to make another epic on this album. Off the top of my head, I can’t even think of a single guitar solo on St. Anger. Kirk Hammett is famous for his iconic and epic solos, so where are they?

I have read some posts written by Metallica fans claiming that they released a bad album on purpose. They claim it was a bit of an “up yours” to their critics. I don’t completely agree. I simply believe that they didn’t care and they wanted a bit of cash. Basically they were being lazy. Metallica could release a version of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and sell millions of copies. They knew this was true too, and that’s why they released a crappy album.

Opinionated blog site about music and current events where anything goes.