I reckon Dancing With The Stars needs; well, STARS… Since bloody when is KAK (Kerri-Anne Kennerley) a STAR? She has to be at least 90 years old, had a heap of plastic surgery and the only thing resembling a star is how she sparkles with a sequin dress on… I didnt say GOOD sparkle, i just said sparkle…
Now; you’re saying; “WHAT ABOUT BRENDAN FEVOLA”?? I say; “what team does he play for now numb nuts”? and you say “ummm, not sure…”.. EXACTLY.. This guy has had his fair share of “Matthew Newton” moments in the past, and still cant resist betting on anything from Pokies to backyard cricket matches. Bookies, if you want someone who will piss a large sum of money against the wall; this is your guy.. And for the record, he will play for Yarrawonga Football Club this year… Not the AFL, not the VFL, but the Ovens and Murray Football League.. If you dont know what that is; google it as i have utterly lost interest in this idiot. “So what about the rest of them”; you say…?
So, you think Johnny Ruffo is a star. He is a bloody Concreter. He takes sand, cement, rocks and water; and makes it into CONCRETE. Ok, so the guy can sing and looks good. Well, its bloody amazing what a computer and sound tech can do to someones voice. Technology eh.
Danielle Spencer: Being married to Russell Crowe doesnt make you a star. It makes people think you were dropped on your head at birth. Being the daughter of Don Spencer makes you a little cool though. As a kid, nothing ever ruled like Bob the Kelpie. Verdict: Not a Star…
Erin McNaught is by no means a star. Good Looking; yeah. Smart; ummm next question. She is an ambassador to alot of things, and MTV VJ and thats about it… Boring… Nothing to see here..
Jessica Watson: Well, this could be a rant in itself. This girl is a pain in the ass of this great country. When she was rescued, she should have paid for it. If anyone wants to be stupid and do something like sail solo around the world, she should pay for her mistakes with her wallet. Why should taxpayers fork out thousands of dollars to rescue idiots like this. Not to mention her ‘love story’ with Aussie magazines and everyday Australians paying money to listen to this girl ramble about how tough it is on the open sea, and how she faced adversity to achieve her dreams. Seriously Jessica, if you dont like big waves of adversity; STAY THE FUCK AT HOME.
Zoe Cramond: Ummm, I think most people stopped watching Packed to the Rafters after the first season. When it stopped being funny and 50 year olds became pregnant. Yep, so who the hell is Zoe Cramond anyway…? Certainly not a star.
Vogue Williams: Who?
Shannon Noll: Ok… Listen up people. This guy is the closest thing to a star that DWTS (Us hip new age people abbreviate everything… So DWTS is Dancing With The Stars).. Shannon Noll is a Multi-Platnium recording artist, and down right nice guy. Yes i have seen him in concert, and yes he was good. Way better than Guy Sebastian and his Angels…
Brian Mannix: Ok.. As a product of the 80′s, i have no idea who this guy is. So i did the right thing and Google’d him. 70′s and 80′s rocker, only got to number 4 on the charts. Looks old like the pair of thongs you hold onto for 10 years, even after a blowout. Star; i think not…
Caine Eckstein: Well, i went to school with Caine.. He was a nice guy.. I never knew why the bloody hell he was allowed to go to the beach all the time; but i didnt care either… Now i find out apparently he can run long distances, swim long distances and ski long distances… Maybe the guys is running from something…? I dont know; but i wouldnt call him a star…!
So… I think we have established that this year’s DWTS is a list full of nobody’s… What do you reckon?